HELMET/INSTITUTE Guitarist: Opinions Are Like A**Holes, And Everyone Sucks

HELMET guitarist Chris Traynor, who is also a member of INSTITUTE, the new band formed by ex-BUSH frontman Gavin Rossdale, has posted the following message on HELMET's official web site:

"It is a commonly held superstition among bands that if you don't buy your own record in the store on the day it comes out, you will have bad luck. Or maybe it's just good luck to buy your record the day it comes out? Either way, in the past I have never paid much attention to that superstition.

"Yesterday [September 13] was the official release date for [the INSTITUTE debut album] 'Distort Yourself' (the record that [HELMET mainman] Page [Hamilton] and I worked on last year). I was feeling good after doing the Fuse 'Daily Download' show and was looking forward to a few days of rest before going back out to L.A. for some more television and press. Cache and Charlie (of INSTITUTE) had both bought the record earlier in the day, and were pressuring me to do the same. I had to wait for a friend of mine by Tower Records on Broadway and I decided to a least go in and have a look at the record.

"Right inside the revolving doors was the new release rack with 'Distort Yourself' on sale for $7.99! I didn't even know that you could buy records that cheap anymore. I was feeling so good that I decided to break tradition and buy the record. The girl at the register seemed really nice and when she saw the record she asked, 'Did you know that Page Hamilton from HELMET produced this record?' I smiled slyly and said 'Yes,' I did. She continued to remark about how much the music sounded like HELMET but with 'that guy from BUSH' singing. I nodded and handed her my credit card. I was feeling pretty good about myself. She checked my driver's license, handed it back to me and said, 'It's too bad HELMET sucks now, they were pretty good on 'Betty', but now they are terrible.' SUCKERPUNCHED! I started to feel a wave of paranoia come over me. 'Am I on a new episode of 'Punked'? I thought to myself, 'Is she fucking with me?' I quickly realized that she probably wasn't, but then I got even more bummed. I am usually pretty good about taking criticism, but at that moment my defenses were down. Here I was, trying to enjoy buying a record that I made and I end up getting laterally dissed by a dumpy looking chick in a made-for-mall LED ZEPPELIN t-shirt. I thought about snapping back, but the best I could come up with was a lame, 'It's too bad the cashiers at Tower suck, they used to be good at giving back change, but now they can't count!' Na-na-na-na-na-na! Anyway, she didn't know she was being rude, she was just expressing her opinion to me, right? I realized that if she was more into the new TRAPT record than pre- or post-'Betty' HELMET, I wasn't going to be able to change her opinion, and I certainly wouldn't look cool trying to change it. I just said, 'You're right, they are terrible, probably the worst.' I took my receipt and told her to have a great night, and spun out onto Broadway.

"I thought it would just roll off my back, but I am ashamed to say that I actually lost sleep over it. I started to think about when I first heard 'Betty'. I was at Don Fury's apartment in Little Italy, and he had gotten some advance copies of the masters for 'Betty'. When he played it on his stereo I said, 'This sucks.' He looked at me and agreed. How could this crap be a follow up to 'Meantime'? I always preferred the plug in and play rawness of strap it on. 'Meantime' was not as raw but still rocking so I dug it too, but what was this space-rock shit and goofy songs about dog biscuits? Who replaced the raw drums with bad hip hop sounds, and why are they doing jazz standards?

"Today, I am thankful to have been in the unique position of being a fan, then a friend, and eventually a member of both versions of HELMET. Over the years of playing the songs live I have developed a fondness for the music on 'Betty', and an appreciation for why that is some people's favorite HELMET record. I still prefer 'Strap It On', but occasionally I rock out to 'Betty'. I think that is one of the reasons that makes HELMET such a great band. It has the ability to transcend opinions, over the course of time. I am honored to be a part of it.

"I have learned so much about music from playing with Page. In my opinion, he has never made a bad or 'sucky' record. I love him like a brother, and look forward to playing with him in the future. As most of you know, I will not be playing guitar on the next HELMET tour. I am not quitting the band; I just couldn’t make all of the dates. My friend Anthony is very capable of covering the rhythm guitar parts, and I am sure you will all greet him with love and respect. There is a chance, however, I might be in the audience at the New York show. Just look for the tall handsome guy standing next to the dumpy looking Tower cashier in a 'Betty' t-shirt saying, 'You suck! Play something off 'Strap It On'!"